i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
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The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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