Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if only i could text you this smell
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
