Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Terrible idea I love it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
