I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
