ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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