I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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