im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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