there's paper in my vomit.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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