Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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