Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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