I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this will be a night to untag.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize