Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
