I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
