i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
