Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
