and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
