dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one