Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita

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  (410): You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita http://tfl.nu/ih02
  Replies (5) Good night (697) Bad night (1078)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.

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  (631): I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky. http://tfl.nu/xwxi
  Replies (8) Good night (621) Bad night (3282)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.

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  (813): Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear. http://tfl.nu/hyjr
  Replies (20) Good night (730) Bad night (6480)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  WTF??? Isn't he married??

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL

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  (910): He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding. (605): WTF??? Isn't he married?? (910): Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL http://tfl.nu/eb9x
  Replies (19) Good night (1017) Bad night (4292)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches

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  (856): Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches http://tfl.nu/oe4j
  Replies (29) Good night (4788) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent

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  (608): I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent http://tfl.nu/fgks
  Replies (24) Good night (4102) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.

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  (914): He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash. http://tfl.nu/xg6e
  Replies (9) Good night (3333) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.

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  (252): OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD. http://tfl.nu/ob5y
  Replies (20) Good night (786) Bad night (4575)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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  (815): at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar? http://tfl.nu/ozqc
  Replies (6) Good night (1768) Bad night (860)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.

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  (403): Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know. http://tfl.nu/4rlg
  Replies (2) Good night (2314) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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  (920): So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate http://tfl.nu/3qfe
  Replies (1) Good night (1104) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight

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  (516): I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight http://tfl.nu/tjyz
  Replies (0) Good night (1030) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.

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  (480): Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god. http://tfl.nu/3e8t
  Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY

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  (253): My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY http://tfl.nu/47h0
  Replies (3) Good night (292) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

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  (713): Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off. http://tfl.nu/4xox
  Replies (7) Good night (933) Bad night (429)

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