He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets