Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut. http://tfl.nu/wfck
  Replies (126) Good night (1479) Bad night (3870)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.

  (903): View more from Texas

  That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative. (903): That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame. http://tfl.nu/rh6l
  Replies (30) Good night (805) Bad night (3508)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening http://tfl.nu/8ijj
  Replies (17) Good night (1554) Bad night (4861)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there. http://tfl.nu/oh3e
  Replies (19) Good night (4440) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Did you just see the Batmobile???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Did you just see the Batmobile??? http://tfl.nu/vqtz
  Replies (24) Good night (5748) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom http://tfl.nu/vjva
  Replies (14) Good night (1562) Bad night (3618)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized. http://tfl.nu/cbfh
  Replies (11) Good night (5057) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings. http://tfl.nu/ebym
  Replies (13) Good night (1851) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator. http://tfl.nu/612t
  Replies (18) Good night (1514) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain. http://tfl.nu/cpjv
  Replies (2) Good night (1403) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin http://tfl.nu/qc7j
  Replies (5) Good night (994) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool. http://tfl.nu/duy9
  Replies (7) Good night (2052) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride. http://tfl.nu/at65
  Replies (6) Good night (858) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to? http://tfl.nu/5ylh
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude you're not even a fucking science major

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture (410): dude you're not even a fucking science major http://tfl.nu/vino
  Replies (4) Good night (1196) Bad night (395)

Randomize