Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?

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  (313): Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board? http://tfl.nu/cf1u
  Replies (19) Good night (953) Bad night (6013)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..

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  (561): My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis.. http://tfl.nu/qf8b
  Replies (43) Good night (806) Bad night (6383)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome

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  (952): So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome http://tfl.nu/t5m3
  Replies (12) Good night (6542) Bad night (1151)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"

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  (317): sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president" http://tfl.nu/8jue
  Replies (21) Good night (6878) Bad night (1617)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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  (610): it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again. http://tfl.nu/0grs
  Replies (30) Good night (6523) Bad night (1192)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

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  (512): Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine http://tfl.nu/sllr
  Replies (7) Good night (2315) Bad night (1065)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.

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  (630): i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it. http://tfl.nu/z8s5
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (3126)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.

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  (443): I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand. http://tfl.nu/0bxb
  Replies (10) Good night (3034) Bad night (1344)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?

  (718): View more from New York

  Keg backpack and a Bike

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  (315): I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED? (718): Keg backpack and a Bike http://tfl.nu/7afi
  Replies (4) Good night (1872) Bad night (1112)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad

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  (214): Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad http://tfl.nu/lcu6
  Replies (4) Good night (1778) Bad night (583)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.

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  (304): I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's. http://tfl.nu/kb4r
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (408)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any

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  (307): Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any http://tfl.nu/i4l6
  Replies (3) Good night (420) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.

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  (416): Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing. http://tfl.nu/0abd
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (438)
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  (310): View more from California

  Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.

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  (310): Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed. http://tfl.nu/wzcc
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."

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  (717): You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina." http://tfl.nu/43rj
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (194)

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