if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.