My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
