it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
