hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
