i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
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How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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