Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
