To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
