im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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