Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
