this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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