i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
