If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
