bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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