Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
