It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
