Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
