I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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