I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
