what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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