i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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