You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
