I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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