covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize