After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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