sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
