Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
