The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
