Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize