How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just invented taco cereal.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He keeps bees of course he's weird
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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