just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
