I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
