is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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