i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize