i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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