I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
