giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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