I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
