the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
