OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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