tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize