Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
