i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
