I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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